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Others may feel sorry for you or think something is wrong with you. The difficulties of maintaining a relationship in the Navy may be one of the drawbacks of service, but having a relationship with a colleague can be even more problematic – as Cdr West discovered earlier this month, when she was sent home following an alleged affair with her third-in-command.In that time, he says he has represented around 40 soldiers who have been accused of having affairs with colleagues, and subsequently find themselves facing career-threatening disciplinary action.“The fact that someone’s having a relationship with another soldier – whether it’s an extra-marital affair or otherwise – doesn’t make them fall foul of the code of conduct,” he explains.The case has been the subject of much media attention, with some claiming that Cdr West – who was previously married to a Navy pilot – has “let down other women in the Royal Navy”.

One such lawyer is Christopher Hill, who has been working in the field for more than 20 years.

“There’s a lot of stigma if someone has an affair with someone of another rank. Officers will eat in one area, then there’s a sergeants’ mess, then a junior ranks’ mess – everyone’s kept separate.

If you break that then the chain of command - the level of respect - is lost.” Christopher Hill says that he is most often called on to advise soldiers who have become romantically involved with the new recruits they are supposed to be training.

In 2009, it was revealed that General Sir Richard Dannatt, then head of the British army, had tried to block the promotion of Major-General Chris Hughes because of an extra-marital affair which Sir Richard believed would have reduced his moral authority over other soldiers.

And the cases that are reported are only the tip of the iceberg.

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